i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
