I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
