Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
