I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Pooping to opera.
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