Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
