As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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