There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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