He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
