Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
