you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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