Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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