lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
