Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize
