Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
