If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
