i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
