I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
