That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
