i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
