People in love make me want to vomit
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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