I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
