Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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