Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
