my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
