He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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