YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize