Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
