sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Plan B is the new Plan A
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
did you just send me my own nude
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
