i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
