My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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