called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
