I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize