Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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