Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
