I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
