Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
