Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
