He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
