so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
