we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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