she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
