He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
