And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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