Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
