I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
