my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
