Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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