i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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