butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I didn't shave. On purpose
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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