Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
