another moral hangover. fuck.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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