walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
