Sacagawea was the original milf.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
