im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
