We won't sleep together?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
