omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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