Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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