I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
