The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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