She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
