Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize