I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
