Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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