i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
