the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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