For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize