But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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