Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
