the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
