Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
