3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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