This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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