I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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