were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I believe in your delicious
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
