Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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