ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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