that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Let's paint friendship bongs
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
