What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
