i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
