I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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